The Kids Aren’t Alright of the Day: Tuesdays, amirite? These Russian schoolkids know what I’m talking about.
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THE LONE CORNMEAL MACHINE: “Dreams”
After a long hiatus, we return with a visit to the world of dreams. We used a lot of twitter suggestions on this one, some of them in ways that are backwards and subliminal. (Pay close attention, if you sent us a suggestion 6 months ago, we may have used it in this one.)
As always, we are hungry for fresh suggestions for future episodes. Contact us via twitter (@LoneCornmeal) if you’d like to influence us with a word, a phrase, a notion or a veiled threat.
Yep, this is exactly what you think it is, a motorized stair lift for overweight dogs. Some people might call it an awesome invention, some might see it as a fun ride for their pets and perhaps even themselves, while others might interpret it as more of a sign of societal failure than technological advancement. We’ll let you decide.
“They may be man’s best friend, but some dog owners have been throwing their hungry hounds a few too many bones as hundreds of the UK’s favourite pets are being turned into bloated bowwows. While there may still be a few starving strays on the streets, it would appear that for many pampered pooches the 21st century dog’s life involves a lot of eating. Dog obesity is dramatically on the rise, with insurance company More Than predicting that over half of the nations dogs will be overweight by 2022.
Extra layers of ‘puppy’ fat can put pressure on an animal’s back and cause a plethora of bone, respiratory and skin conditions which can render a pet unable to climb a set of stairs. That’s why munching mutts could soon give a whole new meaning to the term ‘doing it doggy style’ - taking a gentle ride on a dog stairlift.
Although it is still in the prototype phase manufacturers hope the £5,000 doglift will be be taken on by a big company and developed for a growing market. Chunky, pictured above, certainly wasn’t working like a dog when he took a ride up the new elevator.
The machine has been made with mutts in mind as it features a special ‘paw push’ start button situated close enough to the ground for the animal to reach with an outstretched leg. Pets can clamber into the plastic basket which then raises several feet off the floor before carrying the four-legged passenger up the stairs.”
[via Dailymail.co.uk]
THIS SATANIC GODDAMN THING IS REAL AND I AM UNREASONABLY ANGRY ABOUT IT
seriously look at this awful thing
No.
No no no no no no no.
I’m sorry, if you’re too stupid to make eggs in a pan, you don’t get to have a horrible egg-dog on a wooden stick like it’s some kind of carnival food. This product is a crime against gastronomy, and I want to find and destroy each and every example of it.
(Source: berryhudson)
